Signing
with Brighthouse Records was supposed to be everything we ever
wanted—our better life. Our chance at everything we never had but
always wanted. All our dreams would finally come true and we were on
top of the world. It was our chance at the happiness we never had in
life.
Our
every desire was at our fingertips and the power of that feeling was
all consuming. But then it took every dream we thought would come
true and it slapped us in the face with the cold hard reality.
Dreams
were just that…something that floated on the cusp of untouchable,
taunting you with every graze of your fingertips before slipping even
further away.
Happiness…that
feeling is a joke.
In
the end it became painfully obvious that each of us would always have
each other, but we would forever be alone.
Prologue
Signing with the record company of our dreams should have been the best thing that ever happened to us.
And
it was…for a short while
anyway.
While
the glitz and glamour of the fame’s
promise was shining as bright as our stage lights we could forget
where we came from and live in the glory. The money bought us every
happiness we ever craved. Those false securities that you think will
make your life better. The instant friends, lovers—you
name it—would do whatever we asked just to spend a second in our
presence.
We
had it all.
The
only problem was when we had those quiet moments in between the
insanity. When we were slapped in the face with the reality that all
we really had—all we
could count on—was each
other.
My
brother, Weston, is the only constant I’ve
ever had in my life. He’s
the person that I know will never let me down and will always be my
biggest support. We grew up with parents that hated us. Really…it
sounds ridiculous, the notion that parents could hate their children,
but ours did … no, do. They made no secret of it when we were
younger. And they continue to attempt to pick at our very souls like
the vultures that they are.
My
earliest memory of them is somewhere around third or fourth grade.
That was the year that they seemed hell-bent on reminding us that we
had ruined it all for them. Constant screams and verbal lashings.
According
to them, they were
on the edge of fame and then we came along and it all went down hill.
Even now, I still can’t understand how they came up with that
logic. How we
were to blame for their
reckless behavior. The same reckless behavior that, in reality had
ruined whatever path they might have traveled. It has nothing to do
with us, but to them, we were essentially their bad luck.
When
we hit middle school it got worse, but only because they knew that
they could leave us for long periods and we wouldn’t
die.
Our
parents, like us, were born to be stars…or
at least they assumed they were and they had no qualms about
reminding us that fact daily. Unfortunately for them, they lacked
the drive and ambition to never back down until they had everything
they ever wanted. The first challenge that was thrown in their path
they decided to take the low road full of scavengers and sinners.
Like
I said, vultures through and through.
Our
dad knocked up mom in the early eighties, when big hair rock bands
were all the rage and theirs was
seconds away from signing the record deal that would make their
careers.
Then
they found out about us.
The
twins that ruined it all.
And
all those long nights performing in whatever local hole they could
find, bouncing from town to town just waiting for their big break was
washed away.
Mom
was no longer the singer that men would lust over. Not when we
ruined her body. And our dad was so deep in the bottle I’m
not sure he realized he was swimming in it. Again, something that
was blamed on us.
When
their band fell apart, they decided hating us was almost easier than
hating each other. They had a common goal in their blame and right
or wrong, to them we would never be anything other than a reminder of
why they aren’t
living their dream.
Their
band mates obviously didn’t
share the same bond that Weston and I have with Jamison and Luke.
God forbid I ever found myself in a position like my parents had been
in, I know my boys would band together and the show would go on.
Because
for us, this is it.
This
is our future’s
promise of a better life and even if for me it’s
starting to look like more of a curse than a promise, it’s
something that we would die before we gave up.
Unfortunately
for me, I’m
pretty sure that there are a few people that would love to make that
happen.
I’m
getting ahead of myself. You’re probably wondering who am I.
I’m
no stranger to you. I’m on every magazine cover. You open social
media and I guarentee you there is a spondered post about my group.
Turn on the radio, boom – there we are.
I’m
everywhere.
I’m
Wrenlee Davenport, lead singer of Loaded Replay, and I’ve
learned the hard way that there is plenty of people in the world that
would love to have a piece of me, but they don’t
give one shit about the person behind the voice.
They
see the persona. The fake
me that the record label loves to market as the sexy singer with the
body of a sinner and the voice of a saint, but for me—I’m
probably always going to be that stupid little girl that believes
that my prince charming will come riding in on his black
horse—because really,
black horses are so much more badass than white ones—and
prove to me that every little jaded piece of my heart is worth
loving.
And
he will love me for
me.
For
Wren.
Not
the Wrenlee
that, for more times than I care to admit, has to drink herself
stupid just to face this fucking life I’m
living.
Yeah…
fame and fortune is far from
everything I ever dreamed it was.
It’s
my own personal hell and I pray that there’s
something or someone out there that can prove to me that the world
isn’t
screwed because the majority of humanity is too busy licking the
windows on the outside to see the beauty behind it. All they care
about is what’s
at face value when what matters is skin deep.
I
should feel bad for prince charming. My knight in tarnished armor.
Because he’ll
have one giant battle on his hands to make me believe that there
might be someone left out there that doesn’t
just want a piece of me.
Harper is a NEW YORK TIMES, WALL STREET JOURNAL and USA TODAY bestselling author residing in Georgia with her husband and three daughters. She has a borderline unhealthy obsession with books, hibachi, tattoos and Game of Thrones. When she isn't writing you can almost always find her with a book in hand.
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